My Excogitation

 (Part - 1) One shouldn't get up before the sunrise. One shouldn't take bath in a hurry thinking about missing the office shuttle. One shouldn't hog up breakfast just for the sake of eating. One shouldn't arrive at office when the maids are cleaning. One shouldn't work like a ass every single minute of the work-day. One shouldn't have lunch all alone and run back to the cubicle.     One shouldn't wait for the clock to strike 5, to get out of a cage (I mean cubicle). One shouldn't travel for more than two hours, just to reach home. One shouldn't have all evening spent in a bus full of idiots. One shouldn't worry about work even after reaching home. One shouldn't just always eat the perfect diet meals, watching lame TV shows. One shouldn't go to bed always thinking about the next day. (Part - 2) One shouldn't wait for a weekend to have something called fun.   One shouldn't always travel to only two places in...

Well, how do I start?! I guess I am not yet out of this mind block. No Idea on to how to start a blog post, its as if I never knew how to write a blog post! Guess this is what is called a writer's block. Since I am no professional in writing, I will call it a Bloggers Block.. I had lot of ideas, I really mean a lot. But when ever I would sit in front of a computer to put it in words, nothing came into my mind. I wasn't just confused, but I would get lost.  I have tried to reason myself a lot of times about this behavior, but never got a perfect answer to any questions raised. Is it because that I dont have time? Or is it because including me there would be only 5~10 readers of this blog? Or did I lose all my writing skills? Or is it that I really dont care anymore? Or am I not motivated enough to write? Or is it because I am trying keep my thoughts to myself? Or am I lost in too much work? Or is it that I worry that something I wanna say, has already been said an...

Two months ago, I actually didn't know how to ride a bike. The last time I rode a cycle was back in 2009 and then some 6 months ago I tried bike riding in my cousin's bike; but never rode fully. I had booked my bike some 6 months back and since the waiting period was 8 months, I had planned everything at the end of the waiting period. Then all of a sudden I got a call from them saying the bike is ready to pick up. It wasn't just a sweet surprise, but I was worried since I had no idea about how to ride. And one friday, it finally came. My cousin brought the bike to my home, as I still didn't know how to ride it. Started as a rookie, now I consider myself as an intermediate rider. I have had my highs and lows in the first 500 KM itself. Practiced on the bike for the first week and built my confidence. Once that was done, it was time to take it on a long drive. As my Royal Enfield Thunderbird is build mainly for long drives, I wanted to try it out on a high ways. Pus...

Its been a weird time in the last few months. I have had one of the best month and the worst possible month if my whole life. There has been some addition to my family and had made some enemies also. Well on the enemies part I have made quite a lot of them. I was once a Hero, then in the last few months I became a villain and now on the process of becoming a human. Well first the good part; there has been an addition to my family and also an addition to my machinery. My sister had her baby on July 28th. My niece ( Adithi ) is the cutest little most innocent being in this whole wide world. Well they all say babies are cute, but this little thing is so cute that calling her cute would be an understatement. If I start describing about her more I would be using way too many cute words. She is a cute little lioness. Whenever she is awake she takes control of the whole of my family and she is so peaceful when she sleeps it is as if peace has to redefined. Next was my addition to my machi...

Argument is a basic talk that starts off when there are at least two people with opposite ideology. Arguments are one of the sources of rage. And also argument leads to fights and breakups. Being said that, these arguments also result in knowing things better. Arguments on a particular topic can get a in-depth view about that. The whole of my life is built on the base called arguments. The day everyone goes along with my ideas, is the day that the world will not need me. I argue a lot, be it human or a thing which can talk and respond. If there is a fire of rage burning in me, the fuel to this is arguments. Many a times which of those started out as a simple altercation, turns into a real sticky situation. Those who know me will surely agree with this post, that I love to argue and I am stubborn in giving up. Many a times I end up arguing by the wrong side of a topic, even in those situations I never give up. Now-a-days arguing for the right side is not important for ...

Evil as defined in the dictionary is not just the intention or effect of causing harm or destruction, usually from the perception of deliberately violating some moral code. It has more in-depth meaning. Just like God and Demon are the two sides of a same coin, Evil and Good are also belong to the same coin. It is more like a thing which helps good in lot of ways. I think Evil helps Good to make it better. Without Evil good would never be recognized as Good. Evil removes all the evil side of the good so that good just gets better and better. Not many would agree with this, but I feel this is the sole reason of the existence of Evil. As many of you who have been with me would have in some point of your life seen my evil side. So I assume that I am the right person to write this piece about Evil. I have two sides one of them is Evil and the other one is confused. One of my side is pure Evil, the other side is really confused as to which side should it support the good or the evil...

A person who did something exceptional for that month and is duly recognized. Thus the star of month came into existence or that's what I do think. This is supposed to be a motivational thing for the star and the others. The star will try to retain it the next month and the others try to get it off him. This is how it is supposed to work or so did I think. During my school days I used to get a lot of awards, but wasn't worried as I had a lot of then every year. Then I came to college, where in I participated in a few competitions and did not win any. So the college was the start of my barren stretch of not being in the spotlight for even a single month. For a span of 6 years in the college, I was never in any kinda spotlight; I just assumed that studying was not my cup of cake, so I cant be in any kinda spotlight in the college. Then when I started to work, I was really confident and I even thought that this is what I was born to do. So I was expecting a lot of recognition...

Lost is such a simple word that's used too vaguely. Losing the sight of the goal is not a simple thing, but its one of the worst part of any journey. But here, as of today I have lost the goal itself.  Yesterday night when I was sleeping, just as I thought about what in this world am I supposed to do, I realized that I had no direction or lead towards anything and then did some soul searching and finally found that I have been lost without a goal. I joined the gym to reduce weight, but I am still not sure how thin I wanna be, yet I am trying to be thin. Its been a year since I joined SAP, I am still at the intermediate level of expertise and have no clue where exactly I wanna be and what exactly I will be doing next. Lost in a world with no bounds, a world where in I can have a fresh start and yet I am being worried about the goal. Yes I am worried about my goal, about the lead towards it, about the direction which I should head. Its a bit too philosophical I guess, but all I wan...

We are a set of people who used to work at Infy and had fun during the coffee time. Though we all dont work in Infy, but we still manage to stay close and plan to meet up many times. We had to go to a Manohar's sister wedding this weekend, so all of us were planning and at the end we had a few options on which people had to vote on. So Shailesh decided to send the mail and he sent. It was so funny, I could not stop laughing at the mail. Here is an extract from his mail. " One Team and thousands of Plans  for one single outing, that what everyone think in this famous group. Plans which Mukesh/Ratan not even thought off, Leave them not even a gully team thought off... This team rocks in planning and at the last moment... Here is the team "Coffee Corner", and am proud team member and the person who first plans and first one don’t come. Guess the only group with such close friends, does lot of research about place and timings, Plans went on from Bangalore forum to Go...

Rage has been one of the prominent sins that I have been doing all my life. Many a times this rage overflows so much that rather than letting it go, I cant forgive myself. And this is the reason that I wanted a tattoo such that it could actually seal that rage. This is my second tattoo. This one has more meaning than my previous one. This is special coz its a custom tattoo, knowing that this has not been on anyone's skin before is just heavenly feeling. My idea before getting this one was that I wanted a seal which actually holds the center nucleus. This nucleus represents the rage that is in me and the outer seal was to contain it. So every time I look at this tattoo it should reduce the rage that has accumulated in me. With this idea and few references I went to Veer. I sat with him to put my ideas and references into paper. I actually liked the center Celtic knot which holds the red colored nucleus with a tribal designs emerging out. Then he drew the picture with a freehand. ...

This is again a post about one of my relatives. I have seen them being control-freak from past 5 to 6 years. Lately their controlling has become even more worse as to annoy everyone around them. Though if I say to them in their face they wont agree. But the fact about these control-freak people is that everyone other than them will know that they are controlling things. Dealing with people who are control freaks itself is tough enough. But what if they are parents? I dunno how that kid feels being bullied around, but I really felt bad for him. And so some day if they (parent or kid) read this and understand their mistakes, yeah that serves the purpose of this post. Here I would be stating a few instances where in the parent controlled their kid, just because they felt like. Once I had gone shopping with them and there the kid liked a shirt so much that he wore it and I could see the happiness and all of a sudden from nowhere the Mom came and ordered him to take it off, I couldn...

Confidence is not a simple state of being certain about things. For a man with so much overconfidence, its really a big thing. Sometimes this confidence makes others feel that I am arrogant to them, as they think I have an unmerited confidence. For most of common people confidence levels are like stagnant water where in the level is at the perfect self-confidence. Where as for me the levels of confidence are like tides, most of the times this confidence of mine are on high tides. It rides so high that even the word overconfidence is not the exact thing to describe my level. Last week I stepped into my first ever professional-life-confidence slump. It was the first time I was on a low tide in my profession. Never before I had doubts about my ability to manage things at the office. It put me in a state that I doubted every single one of my decisions. I was even scared to take up more responsibilities. It took me a week to realize the root cause of this issue. One of the two main reaso...

A friday which is worth remembering for my entire lifetime. "Manchester United, Family and Friends"; yes this is the order of preference in my life and I am proud about it. For the first time I got a chance to sit and eat at the Manchester United Restaurant Bar in Bangalore. It was my dream to be at a place where I could feel the devil getting in my body. It was as if I was the Red Devil myself. Stepping inside itself was enough to give me goosebumps. As I walked through the place, my body froze near ever one of he walls which had MUFC Pics. We sat and I got the Menu Card. For the first time I read every single name in the menu. The names were all related to MUFC. The food was really amazing. Filling up our tummies, it was time for the camera shots. Though I did not get pics next to real people, but standing next to those wallpapers itself felt as if I was standing next to them. My dream came true; all thanks to Shyam for the treat and Deepak for the ride... :) One thing ...

--Spoiler alert: Foul language used-- Relatives, yeah these are the people who have been with me during my white and black times. I was not this black when I was born, for the matter of fact I was rather way too white. I used to play a lot of outdoor games in my childhood and always loved the sun. So got these sun-burns and back then i didn't wanted to wear get kinda facial creams or treatments. So I turned this black. According to me, I think facial care are for a female; well many of you would second that. I think a man should be as natural as possible. My parents, my sister and my cousins are with me for what I am now. They don't care whether I am black or white or big or small, coz they know that it is what I want to be and that's the reason I am. Its these elder who are a pain in the ass. In the name of advice every single time they meet they make fucking racist comments against me. Yes I am the only black person in the family and yes its my own wish that I became li...

Music is an art which uses the medium of sound to portray. Music for me is life now, without which I dunno how to survive. Yes I am not joking if I am alone or when I am not speaking with people or myself, I listen to music. That's like for some 12~15 hours per day. This addiction also started after I started my engineering, before that all I knew about music was those regional film songs which used to come on television. I was only aware of a very very few english songs, one of the first ones were "Queen - We will rock you ". These were played in most of the school events, that's the only reason I knew them. Then during the year of 2004~2005, I got my computer. This was the spark which began to fill the music in every single cell of my brain. At the end of 2007, I brought a Mp3 player. Still remember that I paid to one of the Internet browsing center just to fill up songs in my Mp3 player as I was in Mysore away from home, with no access to my comp. From this poi...

For all those who know me, you would be aware that computer has been the most important part of my current life. I have been into computer thingy so much that it feels as if I have been using it from a very long time. But the truth is that I started it late, very late. When I was in school, computer for me was just three boxes in the books; which consisted of input, processing unit and an output. I did not even know what different kinds of i/p and o/p were there, coz at that time I had no interest in them. Even during my computer classes I was just going to play the game space commander, but I hated them coz I sucked at it. I actually had no much idea about computer till I got my very own. Still remember the day I got the cheque from my dad for buying the computer, I had lot of mixed emotions coz that was day my grandpa had expired; had no idea what emotion to show. The comp came after some days, playing demo games and listening to music was the things that I did at start, coz I didn...

Yes I am slave of the seven deadly sins, but Greed is the one I am most scared of . Excess is the main thing in most of the seven. And greed is basically the sickest of them all. Greed is nothing but wanting to have more, but it is rather generalized as very excessive or rapacious desire and pursuit of wealth, status, and power. I think "Greedy can even make the dead, needy". I started studying back again, tried the MS thing. I was greedy and was envy; that was the only reason I started off. Even my Mom wanted me to have a double degree (Greed again). I knew that studying is not my cup of cake, knowing this I jumped into it; all because of the greed. Now I realized I couldn't do it and here I am with a huge monetary loss. I have myself witnessed more and more people being consumer by greed. A person that I know wanted to live free spirited but then changed into a workaholic just because of greed. Also I have seen a friend of mine just toying with many job offers that...

Lie to me is not just plain untruth words expressed as truth, it is more of a skillful art. There are a lot to types of lies, but I do consider only two of the following divisions. One is the planned and other is the sudden one (unplanned). As many people say that the art of lying is in the details. Yes the details are the most important for lying. For the planned lies, the lie has to be realistic and in detailed. On the contrary for the sudden one, the details has to be minimum as one might forget the finest detail. Memory is also as important as anything else. Since I am person with low on memory. I always have this one big concern wheneva I lie. But one can evade this disability by actually making a lie so real that even the truth would seem like a lie to everyone else and then live that lie. The inhabitants of a lie should be as less living as possible. A lie should not include any being which basically can speak. You cannot trust others to maintain you lie, so it is to be o...

It was 7th Jan 2011. I woke up and without me being fully awake, as usual, grabbed some clothes from my closet and came to office wearing them. My friend Shyam and Akshatha joined for breakfast. At that time Akshatha asked why in this world was me and Shyam were wearing the same kind clothes. I explained to her that there was nothin' else goin' on and it was just a mere coincidence. I was sitting at my cube and it felt as if I was in a mirror maze, everywhere I turned all I could see was people (most were men) with black tee and a light blue jeans. For a person who hates uniforms this was a hell which was unimaginable and that too with uniform. Later the day during lunch saw an awful lot of people with the same attire, that's when I realized that it was not just a hell but felt like I was in some gay costume party. I kept on feeling bad after seeing more and more people (only men) with the same kinda attire. That's when I put my jacket on even in scorching heat just...

My Brain's Rhyme will be the site where in I will put my poem and from now on My Excogitation will not hold my poems. So for all those who wanna read my poems please visit My Brian's Rhyme . Also I wanted to try wordpress blogs so started it.. :) My Brain's Rhyme -  http://sunilsairam.wordpress.com/