My Excogitation

It was in this month 8 years ago I got my first ever tattoo. And after 8 long years I still have the love for the ink, in total I have now four tattoos. I have to thank Veer Hegde for his time and patience in sitting with me for multiple session in designing and take one whole day to complete both of the tattoos. Out of my four I have gotten three of them from him and I would return back to him because of his time and effort in making custom tattoo for me. This tattoo is called ' My Love '. A tattoo that's too dear and near to me. This one has 4 parts in it. Firstly the outer Sun in it represents the family I define. Just like how the Sun forms an integral part of this solar system, this one represents the family in which I am the center of it. Next the year 1878, this is the year my favorite football club Manchester United was founded. Then the time shown 6:35 is when the love of my life Ashu was born. Last but the most important thing in this is the vinyl record...

New year resolution is one of the most important things that I do every year, but none the less I never ever had kept the resolution for the whole year till last year. Well one more thing about my previous new year resolutions was that they weren't as influential as my last one. Did you ever try to live all by yourself. Just once, not listening to leads, managers, parents, elders, teachers and your so called well-wishers. Yeah and now this is my resolution for 2011. I for once, the last year, lived a life by my own; choice I made was my very own. Did not even take orders from anyone. Yes I have been advised a lot as usual, but I considered only a few real important ones. I had a ball of time last year, probably because I kept my resolution. It felt so much free that I am the cause of my fall or rise and I finally have no one else to blame for. I for one is a person who believes that ' The day one stops improving is the day one should call it quit from life ...

Its been a weird time in the last few months. I have had one of the best month and the worst possible month if my whole life. There has been some addition to my family and had made some enemies also. Well on the enemies part I have made quite a lot of them. I was once a Hero, then in the last few months I became a villain and now on the process of becoming a human. Well first the good part; there has been an addition to my family and also an addition to my machinery. My sister had her baby on July 28th. My niece ( Adithi ) is the cutest little most innocent being in this whole wide world. Well they all say babies are cute, but this little thing is so cute that calling her cute would be an understatement. If I start describing about her more I would be using way too many cute words. She is a cute little lioness. Whenever she is awake she takes control of the whole of my family and she is so peaceful when she sleeps it is as if peace has to redefined. Next was my addition to my machi...

A person who did something exceptional for that month and is duly recognized. Thus the star of month came into existence or that's what I do think. This is supposed to be a motivational thing for the star and the others. The star will try to retain it the next month and the others try to get it off him. This is how it is supposed to work or so did I think. During my school days I used to get a lot of awards, but wasn't worried as I had a lot of then every year. Then I came to college, where in I participated in a few competitions and did not win any. So the college was the start of my barren stretch of not being in the spotlight for even a single month. For a span of 6 years in the college, I was never in any kinda spotlight; I just assumed that studying was not my cup of cake, so I cant be in any kinda spotlight in the college. Then when I started to work, I was really confident and I even thought that this is what I was born to do. So I was expecting a lot of recognition...

Lost is such a simple word that's used too vaguely. Losing the sight of the goal is not a simple thing, but its one of the worst part of any journey. But here, as of today I have lost the goal itself.  Yesterday night when I was sleeping, just as I thought about what in this world am I supposed to do, I realized that I had no direction or lead towards anything and then did some soul searching and finally found that I have been lost without a goal. I joined the gym to reduce weight, but I am still not sure how thin I wanna be, yet I am trying to be thin. Its been a year since I joined SAP, I am still at the intermediate level of expertise and have no clue where exactly I wanna be and what exactly I will be doing next. Lost in a world with no bounds, a world where in I can have a fresh start and yet I am being worried about the goal. Yes I am worried about my goal, about the lead towards it, about the direction which I should head. Its a bit too philosophical I guess, but all I wan...

We are a set of people who used to work at Infy and had fun during the coffee time. Though we all dont work in Infy, but we still manage to stay close and plan to meet up many times. We had to go to a Manohar's sister wedding this weekend, so all of us were planning and at the end we had a few options on which people had to vote on. So Shailesh decided to send the mail and he sent. It was so funny, I could not stop laughing at the mail. Here is an extract from his mail. " One Team and thousands of Plans  for one single outing, that what everyone think in this famous group. Plans which Mukesh/Ratan not even thought off, Leave them not even a gully team thought off... This team rocks in planning and at the last moment... Here is the team "Coffee Corner", and am proud team member and the person who first plans and first one don’t come. Guess the only group with such close friends, does lot of research about place and timings, Plans went on from Bangalore forum to Go...

Rage has been one of the prominent sins that I have been doing all my life. Many a times this rage overflows so much that rather than letting it go, I cant forgive myself. And this is the reason that I wanted a tattoo such that it could actually seal that rage. This is my second tattoo. This one has more meaning than my previous one. This is special coz its a custom tattoo, knowing that this has not been on anyone's skin before is just heavenly feeling. My idea before getting this one was that I wanted a seal which actually holds the center nucleus. This nucleus represents the rage that is in me and the outer seal was to contain it. So every time I look at this tattoo it should reduce the rage that has accumulated in me. With this idea and few references I went to Veer. I sat with him to put my ideas and references into paper. I actually liked the center Celtic knot which holds the red colored nucleus with a tribal designs emerging out. Then he drew the picture with a freehand. ...

Yes I am slave of the seven deadly sins, but Greed is the one I am most scared of . Excess is the main thing in most of the seven. And greed is basically the sickest of them all. Greed is nothing but wanting to have more, but it is rather generalized as very excessive or rapacious desire and pursuit of wealth, status, and power. I think "Greedy can even make the dead, needy". I started studying back again, tried the MS thing. I was greedy and was envy; that was the only reason I started off. Even my Mom wanted me to have a double degree (Greed again). I knew that studying is not my cup of cake, knowing this I jumped into it; all because of the greed. Now I realized I couldn't do it and here I am with a huge monetary loss. I have myself witnessed more and more people being consumer by greed. A person that I know wanted to live free spirited but then changed into a workaholic just because of greed. Also I have seen a friend of mine just toying with many job offers that...

I don't drink alcohol or do drugs or smoke. There is a unique reason for me being a straight-edge. When ever I say this reason, most of them said its stupid and kiddish. I really don't care, coz that's the truth and I am proud of saying it.  When ones a kid every one advices him to be a straight-edge. My parents and most of the elder during my younger days used to advice me not to drink alcohol or smoke. They used to say 'Don't do this coz its bad for health' . Well it might have been the same for most of us. I had a teacher in my 5th grade, her name was Menezes. She did not advice us saying not to do this and that coz its bad. She was a different one, she said 'Please do not smoke or drink, FOR ME' . I was really moved by her words. Its not because of my parents' advice or my elder's words,  I am a straight-edge just for my ma'am Menezes. Thank you ma'am.

A tattoo is a marking made by inserting dark, indelible ink into the dermis layer of the skin to change the pigment for decorative or other reasons. Where as a tattoo for me is a revolution , which many ppl are scared to start and once started you get so deep into it, that there is no way out of it. My First tattoo, I got it on 08-05-10. I did some bench work on the tattoo parlors in Bangalore and finally got to know that Dark Arts tattoo studio is one of the best here. So finally I decided to get it done at that place. Then was the deign and cost of it. I had chosen a dragon which is flying upwards. I went to the studio. The cost was a bit high, but I agreed coz this is something which one shouldn't compromise on. The start of it was really awesome, it was like getting 120 injections per second. Then the excitement took its base by defeating the pain. Finally after 2.5 hrs of hard work from the artist, I had got a kick-ass tattoo. Coming to the reason for getting a tattoo. Fir...

26th February is ' World Pistachio Day '. I wanted to celebrate this day, coz my favorite flavor of ice cream is pista. No matter where I go my first preference for ice cream is pista and everything comes second. So this day was more special to me. I had decided to celebrate it and this is wat I did to make it special. Breakfast : Nothin' Lunch : 3 scoops of Kesar Pista Ice cream. Dinner :  Half liter of Pure Pista Ice Cream. By eating nothin other than pista, I celebrated this auspicious day. From this year onwards Feb 26th my whole day meal will be pista and only pista.... :)

" Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. " -- Oprah Winfrey. For me; my Limo, Mercedes, Ferrari, Bugatti and every other thing is my bus only. My preferred seat in the bus is the 2 seater side last but one seat, the window side in particular. I never ever in my wildest dream had thought that ppl would notice me using the same seat everyday and would consider that seat as mine.  One day all of a sudden and out of nowhere a person came and spoke with me saying that he commutes in the same bus as mine. I had never seen him before, so I was still in doubt and then he said that I am the person who always sits in the last but one seat. After this my doubt was cleared and was shocked to know that people notice me in the bus. Also a friend of mine said that many ppl does not even sit in that seat as they think that I might come. Woow now that's what I am talking, I had made a s...

" You know when there's someone new on the rise and there's too much hype? I didn't want that to be me. " -- Shannyn Sossamon . This all started in my PU, I still remember those days, I had been for a inter college contest. In this I had made a FM transmitter, the judges came along to check all the experiments and they were very happy with what I had made. Everyone from my college and all those in that room surely thought that I was going to be at least in the top 3. In the end during the results I learned that I did not even get a consolation price. I was a lot disappointed back then, but now when I look back on that incident; I think I was just a hype. A hype so huge it almost seems real! Next one was during my exams. In the class I used to be the nerdy kinda guy who used to answer many question raised by the lecturer. I taught my friends a few times on a few topics. So with all this data, I was hyped to score good marks in exams but here I turned out to be ...

The past three months, wow one hell of a ride. First of all my decision on studying again, I never thought I would be able to do it. I have started my MS (part time). It is not easy to do a part time studying, coz u don't get much time to study and on top of it the dead line of project. Trust me you need extra strength and courage to take this kinda decision. Then came the midterm exams. This was an interesting thing, as I had not taken up a written test from past 2.5 years. It was fun to get back into the classroom, see the ppl around u writing, when all that u know is the subject title. Still was able to get out of the room first. The last exam was great as I knew that i had finished my exams, so I could enjoy the next day! Work, not the same thing always. I am one of the most luckiest one in my process area, as I have been into development projects only. Thanks to whoever was responsible for it, because of which my Technical Knowledge Spectrum is widening with every single pro...

Aaahhhh… Oh, it's one crazy day… oh!! How can I describe the way I feel? Fuckin' great!! Ok, let me see… How can I begin???   Birthday was just another day that actually tell that we are actually towards our end! Well who the heck cares about the future, coz today is my birthday. YAY....   Ufff, a day which I will never ever forget, even with a memory loss... ;) The craziness started when my dad fed me with the sweet early morning. Then for office I wore a all black dress, which was for the first time... :) My small group of friends (BT, Yesh and Uncle) gave me gifts and bums, never in my wildest dreams expected that... Then during the celebration I was given a cake pack for my head fully by Anirudh, well that was so sudden even before I could think or blink it was all over. By the way the cake was really good... :D For my surprise, I even had to cut the cake at home. The best cake that I ever had.... hmmmmmm, just thinkin' about it makes my mouth watery! Tha...

XxxxX is the inner me. Everyone can call him Sunil's Guilt, coz I am so guilty that he came into existence. These days my brain power has grown I guess. My thinking has changed from past few months. I am becoming more and more capable of committing crimes and escape without even being noticed. The petty crimes that I committed, the people I used (my family, friends and even strangers) for just my own good, the life that I have messed, evil thoughts, etc., Lots of these things have become so huge that it has given the birth of XxxxX. My wants have grown so much that it needs everything and is ready to use any possible thing to attain it. The only one who can stop me is XxxxX. I am introducing him so that even if I forget him, you all will be there to remind me of his existence. As Albert Camus (French Novelist, Essayist and Playwright, 1957 Nobel Prize for Literature, 1913-1960) said "A guilty conscience needs to confess. A work of art is a confession." He is the result of...

"Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise." -Benjamin Franklin This is one of the most famous sayings, which till last month I did not understand and did not feel like following it. I always thought this early morning thing was a piece of shit. Last month on the last Sunday, my cousins visited my place. It has not been long, only some 3 months, that I had last seen them. When I saw them on that day, I was speechless by seeing their size. That is when I realized that I had to stop increasing my body. Now the above saying came to my mind. But it had flaws in it, coz if one wakes up early he will not become healthy, wealthy or wise. He needs to do something about it to stay healthy, wealthy and wise. I am now not worried about me being wealthy. Being wise, I give my brain a lot of work to keep it in good shape. As far as healthy is concerned, I had not put any effort in maintaining it. I was always a Night Crawler, but from last month I am trying to be...

Principles for me is something that should be followed even at a dying situation. I had been in situations where in I could have broken my principles and could have survived, but even at those situations I followed them and failed in my tasks. I still feel proud of those situations. I started to work after my studies. Today my principles are six feet under the earth surface . I was discussing during my tests and also shared information , but never ever copied from a book. I also had a principle that during exams I really tested my knowledge and never ever took any kind of info or help from my friends, even at the worst case. After becoming a corporate I have broken this just to survive. The work that I do should be recognized by others without me saying a single word about it. This is one of my few buried principles. In my current state without me boasting about my work, no one would even consider it as a work done. Here doing work is not at all important, only bragging about it is imp...

Hi All, Finally after two months plus of blogging, my blog is on google. Well now it is available on google search, I am extremely happy... Hurray!  The search items are: ' sunil sairam ' , ' my excogitation ' and soon some more!

Arrrrrrrrrrr..... Hello my fellow sailors. From today onwards I will be the self proclaimed ' Pirate Master '. I won the second place in a treasure hunt that happened on 31-07-08 in Infosys (MFG). My team: Me, Sumit, Sudeep, Rajneesh and Kailash. It had been a hard week for me till thursday, but from that day it has been all good. Treasure hunt was really amazing, coz I had not been participating in any kind of event from some 4 years. After a long break this was an awesome one, and that too my team won. This has become a lifetime remembering experience. The start was a bit delayed coz my team was not willing to come. Then it was all smooth, we just ran around the whole of the infy campus, bangalore. We just lost to the team which won the first place by just giving one wrong answer. Then at the end we cycled our way to the final destination in a heavy rain, this was the best part of the whole event. At the end we realized that treasure is not the important thing in this event ...